asker

Anonymous asked: Has anyone else had enough of Ty and Nick's friendship angst? Either put it behind you and move on, or call it quits and go your separate ways. You're both grown men. Stop wallowing and deal with it.

Zane: Yeah, because there certainly isn’t any wallowing in hypocritical bitterness in this ask.

Nick: Wow, anon’s awful preachy for someone who isn’t being forced to read any of it. You may want to go fuck right off, dear.

Ty: Has anyone else had enough of douchecanoes showing up to be assholes when we’re here trying to do something fun? I know I have.

asker

Anonymous asked: To anyone that can give advice, how do you deal with failure? I haven't been doing so well in my college classes this semester and failing tests is the most discouraging thing ever. Do you have any advice as to how pick yourself up so to speak after failing at something that's really important to you? Thank you!

Ty: Keep on truckin’. That’s the only advice I have.

Zane: Failure is hard blow, especially if you’re not used to it. You just have to trust yourself. Know that this is something you can do, and you will succeed as long as you keep at it.

asker

Anonymous asked: Nick, I'm a fan of the red sox but my dad is a fan of the yankees and we live in Boston. How am I supposed to deal with this?

Nick: Murder.

Ty: No.

Nick: Patricide.

Kelly: Nick, no.

Nick: It’s the only way.

Zane: Just make sure you can get away with it.

Nick: I will help.

asker

Anonymous asked: Is there any chance of a baby made with Annie's egg and Ty's sperm?

Ty: Dude. What part of can’t reproduce don’t people understand?

Zane: Shots not being fired.

Ty: Serving the eggs scrambled not fertilized.

asker

Anonymous asked: Sidewinder, it's probably classified, but did you cooperate with Polish Special Forces GROM (Thunder) during your deployment in Afghanistan?

Nick: They weren’t in Afghanistan when we were there.

Ty: Neither were we.

Zane: You mean, you weren’t in Afghanistan when you were in Afghanistan?

Ty: Nope.

asker

Anonymous asked: Ty..you should ask Zane for the book store kitties while giving him a blowjob.

Ty: Oh, yeah? How? Should I mime it out while my mouth’s full?

Kelly: Asking for pussies while you’re sucking his dick might not go well.

Zane: Charades, anyone?

Nick: Dude, naw.

asker

trust-me-i-dare-you asked: Zane: As far as I can tell you're the best option to ask about knives, any suggestions for a gal with a 6-inch limit and a mild obsession with all things sharp? I've only got the one pocket knife with me currently and I don't like it.

Zane: Okay, if you’re going for a pocket knife replacement, a Kershaw or a Gerber are both exceptional for quality and style. You’re going to be paying for them, though. I prefer Kershaw because they have folding knives with what’s called a SpeedSafe release, and oh my God if I could marry a knife …

Ty: Seriously? Would the knife have to ask you twenty times before you said yes?

Zane: Nope, one and done.

Ty: You’re an ass.

Zane: They’ve even got a wide array of colors for you to choose from. Can’t be beat.

Ty: They are nice knives.

Zane: Now, if you’re talking other types of knives, like daggers or throwing knives, then there are more variables to what brand you want to look at. Just a regular folding knife that you carry with you every day, though, you cannot beat a Kershaw.

asker

Anonymous asked: For all the guys...What is your favorite childhood memory?

Digger: There was this mom and pop restaurant in town right there by the stop sign, across from the railroad tracks. They served pink hot dogs on toasted buns. We’d go there with my mama and we’d all get a hot dog and fries and a soda that came in a paper cup. Nothing tastes better than a Coke in a paper cup. And if we were lucky, we’d get to watch the train go by.

Owen: My cousins lived in a little town with a lake. We’d spend the 4th of July with them every year, and the grown ups would let all of us go out on our bikes by ourselves. It was our first taste of freedom, and every time I see lights on the water I still feel free.

Ty: The ballpark. That’s my favorite memory. Deuce and I both played little league baseball and peewee football, and we were always at the ballpark. When I wasn’t playing, I was running around, playing in the sandbox, hanging on the fence, gathering pebbles, and looking for four-leaf clovers. We had this blanket my mom made that was basically a sheet of plastic with cloth on the outside, because the plastic kept us warm when the wind blew. I loved the way that blanket sounded when you wrapped it around you.

Zane: Going riding with my grandfather. We’d spend hours out there, and he’d talk to me about everything from his philosophy on why red cars are for dumbasses to how a fiddle can make a song sound beautiful to why it was important never to waste something that someone could use. I’m afraid I didn’t listen to him as much as I should have. I was too young to appreciate what he was sharing with me, but I knew even at the time that it was something special, and not every kid had that.

Kelly: My dad taking me fishing. I had a little plastic rod and reel with Mickey Mouse on it because I was too little to handle a big one. We’d drive out to this creek in his old truck, I can still remember the way the seats smelled. We’d sit on the bank of this creek, and he wouldn’t even bait his hook because there weren’t any fish in the water, and we’d sit side by side, and he’d tell me stories about the west and Native myths and I just … I really wish we could still go fishing sometimes.

Nick: I can’t really say I have any.

asker

Anonymous asked: Ty: since when are you terrified of dogs? I thought you used to have one? What was her name? Maggie?

Ty: I love people who don’t read.

Nick: Who the fuck is Maggie?

Ty: Chester’s dog. Who apparently is mine even though I haven’t lived at home since I was 17.

Zane: Ty rescues animals even if he’s afraid of them. Can you say ‘tiger’? The man wouldn’t even shoot a mountain lion as it was attacking him, he’s sure as hell not going to leave a domestic animal in need of assistance on the side of the road. Just the fact that he brought a stray dog to his grandfather instead of keeping it himself should tell you at the least that he’s not fond of dogs. And if you’d been paying attention at all you’d know exactly when and why Ty’s fear of dogs started.

asker

tyskitties asked: Ty and Zane: Ok, so you're having a stealth wedding. Fair enough. Sounds fun. (Ninja roll down the aisle!!?) Any idea when that wedding will be? Summer, winter, any date you're going to avoid?

Zane: The whole point of a stealth wedding is that it goes unnoticed.

Ty: Yeah, dude. Get with the theme, here.